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The Loyal Order of Himbos

List price: $36.00
$30.00
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The Measure of a Himbo

  1. Can you stick your tongue in & out of a hole at least 80 times a minute (an anteater can do it 150 times & has a brain the size of peanut...) AND be willing to prove it on command?
  2. Do you believe that submission is no fun without mild resistance?
  3. Do you have "nimble teeth"?
  4. When you're shopping for a collar & leash for your pet, do you think to yourself "Hey, I wonder if this will fit me, too?"
  5. At the sound of a "SNAP" of the fingers, do you look immediately around the room to see who you can feed a frozen, chocolate-covered strawberry to?
  6. Do you find nothing embarrassing about such PDAs as groping, tweaking, tonguing, flicking, suckling or nail raking?
  7. Have you ever been classified as having a "Body by Nautilus, Brain by Mattel"?
  8. Do you consider yourself to have a swift wit in command of glib witticisms?
  9. Have you ever been "Fiended" and, if not, are you willing to learn?
  10. Do you know the correct response when a woman says, "I have to take a shower."?

With all this debauchery in mind, if you answered "Oh Momma, YES!" to at least three of these questions, then by the ruling & keenly subservient observation of the Grande Poobah of the Order, Squire Rob "The Anteater", you have what it takes to be a Himbo. What remains to be done is have your Mistress sign you up so that you may carry on your arduous, albeit enviable, duties with a modicum of pride and the full authority of the Brotherhood who says it okay to say "Yes, Ma'am" and MEAN IT. The Guild motto explains it all: "To Serve & Protrude"

Your guild membership order includes:

* Himbos Pin
* Himbo Guild Certificate, suitable for framingÂ… if she let's you...